To be able to finish this paper and prove what I have researched on this past two months regarding the effects of single parenting among children and what are the things a single parent experiences in rearing the child, there is a need for an interview.
I have done my interview from three people - children of single parents, and two single parents - one is a teenage mom and the other is a single mom from separation. I have interviewed them so, I could give concrete ideas about what are their challenges and its effects to them.
I have interviewed my two classmates who experienced being on the situation. They said that single parent family is really different from the traditional two parent family because for them it can lead to loneliness, the feeling of always being alone, and the attention given by the parent is not that fulfilled. They experience psychological and emotional problems like the feeling of always being lonely, lack of attention and guidance which affects their view about their parents. With regard to academic achievements, both of them said that they don't have any problem about it. They said that if you are in the situation, you should be stong to prove others that even you are in a different situation than them, that should be a hindrance to their success. Both of them experience social challenges. They said that they feel being alienated, always feel alone because they are thinking about the situation, and they just always smile to hide the problems they have because of the situation. They cope these challenges by praying to God because they said that He will not give this thing to you if you cannot overcome it and by believing on themselves. Just always think that you are still lucky that you have a parent who still take cares of you unlike other children who are orphan. One of my classmates that being a child of a single does not have any benefits or advantages, but my other classmate said that, it teaches her to become independent, strong, and determined person. She believes that a child who experiences now being on a single parent family might lead her future family to become complete because she will make sure that the one she experiences at the present will not happen to her future children.
In addition, to strengthen more my study, I have also interviewed a child of a single parent. According to her, her mother left them when she was only 8 years old and she doesn't have any idea of what is the reason behind the negligence of her mother. Her grandmother was the one who looked after them. She felt that there is always that missing part of her in spite of the presence of her lola and father that made the situation difficult for her to cope with. Her experiences being in a single parent family are: (1.) When she was in kinder she did not join the family day and (2.) when she was elementary there is an investiture for girl scouts and supposedly the one who should put the pin on her uniform was her mother, but the one who put it is her adviser. Despite of being envious to those families who are complete, she is still happy because she is with her six siblings and the one who are sending them to school is her tita. Until now, she is still asked by other people if her mother will come back she will be mad at her. For her, she is mad to her mother. However, if her siblings accept their mother, even her youngest sibling don't even see her personally, she will accept her for the sake of them. When her grandmother died, that was the time when she really felt that she don't have a mother who guided her. Every night she is crying because of what she feels. Because of uncontrolled emotions, she was not able to handle it that's why she attempted to commit suicide. With regard to school, she does not have any stigmas because when she was in highschool she was able to graduate in a private school. However, one of her eldest brother graduated in public school because her brother did not take his studies seriously. He was the one who was greatly affected by being on a single parent family. When it comes to socializing, she is quite timid in approaching people because she is very quiet, but as time passes by she was able to get along with to other people. For her, the disadvantages being in a single parent family is she does not experience the feeling of having a mother. How a mother will raise her; how a mother will give pieces of advice to her daughter in terms of her growth, education, and love life. However, she learned how to be independent. She was able to make decisions for herself. And she can distinguish easily what is right from what is wrong without asking for some pieces of advice from others.
Meanwhile, I also interviewed a teenage mother so, I would be able to provide information about what are she experiencing. According to her, the first stigma is how she will be a mother to her child because she will think of how she will raise and rear her child, how she will take good care of her child, how will she provide a good future for her child alone. She will think how she will start new life for herself and for her child - the future that awaits ahead of them both. Financially, at first it was very difficult for her because she just leans on her parents since she was not able to provide her child's day care needs for she is a teenage mom. When she was now had her work, little by little she was able to provide the daily needs of her child. In socializing to other people, it is also difficult for her also at first because sometimes other people are always questioned her of being a single mom for they are asking of who is the father of the child. Sometimes, she also feels being discriminated by other people. At first, she was greatly affected, but at time goes by, she learns how to be strong enough for her baby because someday she will be the one who will give her the strength. She also said that if you will be weak and very emotional of what happened always, nothing will happen to her that will just might affect her child. Her initial reaction when she knew that she is pregnant was shocked because she did not expected being a mother in just a snap, but whatever happens she accepted the situation and she believes that her child is a blessing for her. She learned to be independent by not being a burden to her parents even she knew at the first place that they are the ones who supported her all the way and encourages her to learn from her mistake and to be matured and strong for herself and her child. She believes that she should persevere more for her baby. Her family who is always there for her and pushes her to be responsible and gives her moral support to overcome this stigma.
Furthermore, a single parent from a separation was the other one I interviewed. Her struggles of becoming a single parent are the financial capability and lack of sleep especially when her child is ill. According to her, it is also difficult to balance the work and being a mother. However, she keeps on nurturing her child's mind that what they only have should fit on their lifestyle. In socializing, for her there is no problem at all because her friends were very supportive to her all through out. In discrimination, she just ignore it. She keeps on telling to herself that there are many people who are also experiencing what she experiences now. She just enjoy her life because if she will be affected of those discriminations, it does not help working out the situation, but worsening it. It may also affects the child's life. She learned not to easily give her trust to someone because she is afraid to happen again what she experiences now. But if it is about her child, she shows being resilient and strong. She does not show that she is experiencing difficulty sometimes in raising her child because she felt pity to her child when her child sees her worried on something.
In conclusion, with the result of my interview, the answers I have been expecting were said by the interviewees like the social, psychological, financial, academic, and emotional problems and its effects to them. However, some of the answers contradicted the foreign studies I have researched on like the academic effects on the children. But all through out the interview, the results of the interview almost matched what I have expected.
The effects of single parent families are usually termed negatively. Single parent has become a bad word in many contexts and most people often don't understand what leads the situation to be that way - being a single parent family. Sometimes, they don't even have this sympathy of what a single parent is going through raising her child. Regardless of being on a single parent family, single parent should be able to do their best for the child even though they are doing many responsibilities at a time that should be shared by two people. However, being strong for your child sometimes difficult to do because of the effects of single parenthood on you as a parent.
1. Loneliness